Ashes to ashes, corpse to tree

Sign me up for this “biodegradable urn made from coconut shell, compacted peat and cellulose [that] contains the seed of a tree”.

Instead of wasting thousands of dollars on a coffin and permanently occupying valuable space on this increasingly crowded and resource-constrained planet, I’d rather turn into a tree! Maybe I could still live at home with my family.

Now I just have to research what kind of tree I want to become. Our neighborhood trees have been torturing my wife and me with their pollen, so I’ll definitely want to be a hypoallergenic tree. Labradoodles are cute and hypoallergenic. What’s the arboreal equivalent?

I’ve always been a sucker for willows. But red maples are gorgeous. And how cool would it be if I could provide a steady supply of syrupy sweets for my loved ones' pancakes and waffles? “Mmmmmm. Dad is delicious! Can I have some more Dad, please!”

Posted by James on Saturday, May 21, 2011